Here’s a vital update : it STILL doesn’t taste like “orange”. From the last post to this one I’ve sucked down 3 Marlboro Ultra Lights. Its a helluva rollback for me and, this way, if I do get cancer it’ll be the ultra-light variety. Probably just a little discomfort, maybe I’ll drop a few unwanted pounds, and my athletic prowess will dwindle to Otisian levels…that’s all.

Nicorette, meanwhile, is all the addiction of drug use without the joyful comraderie of passing the pipe.


..came on Thursday at the weekly sbo game. Last week (IRS NOTE : THIS IS FOR PLAY MONEY ONLY) I won big in the bi-weekly 2/4 HORSE game and followed it up with a nice win in a $30 rebuy tournament the next day. But when Thursday HORSE is in an off-week the game is dealers choice and I’m in deep chit.

You know these games. Before the big Hold-’em explosion this is all you ever played. Hell, I’d wager your granny spent more than a few eveings with women named Gladys and Margie slurping high balls and playing re-damn-diculous card games for money. To make this game more authentic I’m suggesting that BadBlood spend more time wearing knee-high stockings and bitching about loud music.

This Thursday was the STANK AT RANK or the game at Rankster’s house. He’s a classy guy and he has a very nice place. But why does it seem fitting that I sat on a dining room chair covered in plastic for protection? Even the table surface was covered with a nice paisley sheet so the surface wouldn’t scratch. When his small Colonial wig of a mutt curled up in his lap for the very first deal, well, HIGHBALL ANYONE?

Now there are always cooler heads at a game like this. BadBlood, to his credit, always called for 2/4 Limit Hold-em. God Bless the Blood. And Wally Backman, now retired from the ’86 Mets, kept calling 7-card stud. What noble efforts..wasted on the the granny-centric lot.

Would I like to buy a card for what? No..I’ve never been to Kansas City? Match the pot!!! F-YOU! As a rule, dear reader, if the entire table pitches in to explain the game to you WHILE ITS BEING DEALT…sit that hand out. More than once I had 20 bucks invested in a pot only to find out later I was already drawing dead. Not that I could’ve known. I didn’t know how many draws remained. After briefly flirting with a profitable night my (IRS = FAKE) bankroll shrank by a triple digit dose. MeMaw rolled over in the dirt.



I’m back on the gum today. And this week I’m back to HORSE. That’s very good news. If anyone has good advice on this whole smoking thing let me know. I’ll be chewing the bark off an Elm.